Hypothermia AssKick the stage race that keeps you guessing

No wimps! No whiners!

High Uintas Classic a.k.a. Hypothermia Ass Kick, a true hard mans race... those that tried to H.T.F.U. found themselves folded up on the side of the road, quivering like babies, wishing they had stayed home. The early categories got off easy, minimal rain and strong tail winds to the finish, all the racers behind the 1-2 field got got a intimate look at the pain cave, no less than 200 people were pulled of Bald mountain pass suffering from hypothermia.. No wimps! No whiners and no results till almost ten at night!

Promoters and officials built the suspense like a Stephen king choose your own adventure novel where the author f*%k$ with you. Did you get the right time? did you get a KOM bonus, how much time will you have to make up in the TT and the Crit..oh by the way the crit doesn't count anymore.. hope you're a TT monster.

Speaking of TT monsters, Cat3 Josh/David Brockbank(canyon draper) smoked everyone and I mean everyone in the TT, beating 1-2 winner Sam Krieg(ice) by 20+ seconds..what a freak. When asked about the spanking, Krieg indicated he was slowed by the wet roads..

Even though the stage race was officially over after the TT, it was still anybodys guess as to the final GC. The officials must have been laughing to themselves as they held the GC results till the Crit was almost over.. is it to late to protest my road race result?

Fresh air, Freedom and Ass-less Chaps!

Residence of Evanston are a friendly and rare breed. New York has the Naked Cowboy, Evanston has the Ass-less Chaps Guy... this guy came up from his "dude" ranch to volunteer with the race, he also claimed to have a fan club which was comprised of little boys....I knew Evanston had porn and beer but who knew they had so much diversity.
Evanston locals know how to party and look forward to the Hi-U beer and pizza party, these guys were all about post race recovery, soaking their legs in the fountain while enjoying the annual sexy calves contest.

Worst Calves contest

As you know L'autobus does things a little different so we now present the first annual Hi-U worst calves contest. We have already picked the contestants now you can win a L'autobus Tshirt by being the first to name these 3 sorry specimens.

send your answers to lautobus411@yahoo.com , include your shipping address and Tshirt size. **hint, all the calves are male and two of them are from the Cat2 field.**

Cyclist stimulate Logan economy and Training Secrets revealed

last week L'autobus pulled up to Myface honked the horn and people started piling on. Its amazing how many of you want to ride the bus even though the driver rarely has a nice word for ya. I guess its just human nature, we can help but look at the road side accident or laugh when the little kid eats it on his bike.

Speaking of people loving to hate L'autobus, Bountiful Mazda has a mole in their midst, every week I get a direct feed and this week the word is Zimbleman and Tueller are pissed at the Bus. Apparently they aren't enjoying their 15minutes of fame.. not sure why Tueller has his chamois in a bunch as this will be his first ride on the bus.. as for Zimbleman, L'autobus doesn't make the rumors we just spread 'em.

Rumors spreading like hot butter

Sources in the PCIM camp indicate that Clinger(cole sport) has a crush on hottie #1 Taylor Wiles(pcim)..then again 90% of the voting peloton has a crush on Wiles. Not sure what her connection to Matt Bradley(skullcandy) is..bff-s? maybe shes just using him for a ride to events...Those close to Bradley say he has a different girl friend every week and Taylor is not one of them...game on guys.

The Internet has been telling me about certain racers doing "secret training". Eric Martin(skullcandy) and Dave Harward(specialized-porcupine) have invested thousands of $'s into something referred to as "legal EPO", according to the Internet they sleep in a hyperbaric chamber with the Elephant Man bones, the bones are on loan from Never Land Ranch.

FaceBook revealed that Cameron Hoffman(bikers edge) is also doing some "secret training".. I'm not sure if three hits from Michael Phelps high altitude bong counts as training, though recent studies show that the Phelps High Altitude Bong lowers perceived race times up to 50% and shortens recovery time by stimulating appetite.

Economic Stimulus

Logan received a monetary shot in arm last week as cyclist raced into the valley for the state road race. With the early race start and long commute, most racers were pushing the recommended speeds on their way to the venue. Couple that with fluctuating speed limits and it was like shooting fish in a barrel.

This appeared to be all part of an evil plan to stuff some dollars in the Logan valley coffers. Seem as though Logan police had made a deal to turn a blind eye to the race in exchange for hitting their ticketing quota two weeks early... some say that is why the race start was set for 9am.

While I'm ranting about Logan, lets talk lotoja and who wouldn't want. Own the 2008 LOTOJA Pro 1,2 Winning Bike!

Mr. Hoffman put himself out there with this ad for his old steed... and here is a taste of the challenges he's faced:

1fixedgear-Does that mean you are rad?

camzilla- This was the team bike for American RADD...so I guess that does mean that I was once RADD, but not Rad. Are you interested in buying or just poking fun at me?

1fixedgear- Does this mean that you cease to be rad because you are selling your radness? Yes, I am poking fun at you. What can I say, you made it too easy.

Leave it up to some fixie fruit cake to go around bullying people on the net .. . where does he find the time? With all the time these guys spend trying not to look like they're trying, its a wonder they can even hold down a job. And you gotta have a job..worn out Vans and shoe lace belts aren't cheap.. don't even ask how much the skinny jeans are.

Wheres the Beef?

Fox and Gregg Steele have beef, these two heifers got into it over some Ebay milk gone sour... things escalated and apparently Fox called the cops to report Steel for hassling him via facebook, blogspot and possibly twitter... multi media bullying is the domain of real tuff guys, like giving someone the finger on the highway, you know you won't have to back it up.