Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Canyon wins R.A.A.M. and Ida-Hoes better have my money

From the Team Car
The cycling gods were kind to us this weekend, to bad the cyclist did not follow their lead. In Cat2 news Eric Slack(bob's bicycles) took the win.. after the race Eric was quoted as saying " its like taking candy from a baby" and "Utah tactics are no match for my watts".

Brad Cannon(Midoule/Barbacoa)was off on a solo break during East Canyon. Once reeled in he was heard cursing the group down, saying something about race tactics... I know his teammates didn't chase him down, they had flats, So I can't figure what his complaint was.... If you've ever watched VS. you know the break always gets chased down...

In Cat3's Dustin Thiel(Contender) out sprinted the lead group for the win, every week sees a new winner and a new first loser.. losers stay in the 3's and winners upgrade.

Despite Skullcandy's efforts to soften up the young kids, the kids still had their day. Young guns from Cole sport took control of the race on the final climb and destroyed their senior Cat4 racers, 1st Zack Simons(cole sport) 2nd Tanner Cottle(specialized porcupine). Apparently Karsten Shumway(spin cycle) is Le Patron of the Cat4's. during East Canyon Shumway was trying to control the peloton accusing Skullcandy of attacking while someone had flatted...News Flash, no one knows or cares what happens at the back..Its not a stage race with a GC leader, the strongest 4 could flat and no one is obligated to wait for him..

Speaking of taking control, the 5's had some funny issues. On the final climb a ten man break formed. When two teammates tried to to get a rotation going, they were shut down by a lone triathlete, the verbal exchange was so heated they almost came to blows at the finish....Bike, Bitch, Punch..i guess.

In the Masters 45+ teams were at odds, primarily Bountiful Mazda. Jeff Ure(bountiful mazda) was sitting 2nd in the UCA standings and was hoping for the support of his teammates to take over the leaders jersey. Mid race Mark Zimbleman(bountiful mazda) decided to take the glory himself, stating "Our focus is not on the jersey". That what I love about the masters, they say what they feel and If they haven't had a nap they're grumpy.

Talk about being grumpy John McCone(Cole sport) was growling at everyone post race, he had flatted mid race and lost his chance to defend last years EC victory.

No-Man's Land
Daren "throttle" Cottle wrote me this email.

"While I’m flattered my little blog is listed on the site, I’m deeply hurt that Tanner and I are listed under “Road Weenies”. I’m all about the dirt and go out of my way to avoid being a Road Weenie. You’ll see me with egg beater pedals on my road bike, a visor on my helmet and completely unable to hold a straight line in a group. I intentionally ride off the shoulder in the gravel in road races just to feel more comfortable. I’m probably going to ride my single chain ring cross bike at East Canyon. Road racing has only two purposes: 1 - Training for dirt racing and 2 – Enjoying the entertainment value of the drama first hand. Please, please move me to the Dirt section of the list. I’m beginning to have suicidal thoughts just looking at the blog page. My life is in your hands."
If you race 90% on the road that makes you a road dork right? even if you pretend your passion is the dirt?
Should I move him to Dirt Merchants? It's the reader call..

Brandi Gorden(ski utah) is known to have crushes on racer guys, she also worships Rammstein. Recently she wrote in her blog about tagging along on a ride with Ali Goulet(FFKRarchitectsSBO)..her blog details getting "popped" on a climb but recovering. Sources tell me that Goulet was dragging his kid around that weekend.. funny no mention of a trailer in Brandy's blog post. I didn't see Ali at EC perhaps this blog post is some indication of his where abouts.

"We used to have this thing, my clique and I during school. 2 guys, 4 girls that when one of us died, the rest would eat them, then the next that would die, the rest would eat him or her. And so on and so on, so that the last person left, would have EVERYONE of us inside him or her.."-Brandy

Operation Puerto?
Sources tell me that Dirt Merchant Matt "indohran" Ohran(monavie-cannondale) had received un-marked meds just days prior to the road race at Tour of the Depot. Matt had been feeling tired so his doctor prescribed him "iron" pills..those close to Ohran reported the pills being free of markings of any sort...and of course he felt great during the road race

Speaking of partying, Anthony Johnson(FFKRarchitectsSBO) is moving to Las Vegas to pursue a career as a male stripper.

Cat5 Tattoo
R.A.A.M is over, Canyon won it.. This guy was spotted last week doing victory laps around Central Park.. they say its a good idea to train on your full on race ride sometimes.. I'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

That's a wrap folks, ladies I need your dirt . See you at the races!