Thursday, May 21, 2009

Brown Lake RR, cat4 ladies graduate from Etiquette School

From the Team Car
Bear Lake, the only 3 day race that's not a stage race..what else could I say?..I believe mind numbing would sum it up. The most interesting features of the course are the pot holes and cattle guards.."Point it out!". So who really cares about the results, The good stuff is what happened before the finish during registration when everyone blew out the Facilities. Bike racer eat plenty of fiber and most have a case of pre-race mud butt. Subsequently the toilets quickly be came know as Brown Water Resort.

During the 1-2 race there was action of a different nature, Dave "hard wood" Harward(porcupine/specialized) got off the front.. He dangle there for 60+ mile before becoming mesmerized by the Merman of the lake. That merman was no other than Ryan "turdbo" Barrett(canyon development).

In the final miles Turbo, Sam"no-doze"Krieg(ice), Ben"shrim on tha barbi"King(fly V australia), Eric"shaggy"Flynn(ffkr/sbo), Todd"haggard man"hageman(cole sport), Sohmy(porcupine/specialized), Nate Page(mi duole/barbacoa), and Camzilla got off the front..and stayed away. Somehow those guy got out sprinted by Barret... as he crossed the line Ryan was hear yelling "suck it L'autobus! I'm funnier than you'll ever be".

Master racing was pretty quiet, with Mark Zimbleman taking the weekend off Bountiful Mazda was free to race as team and without incident. Apparently the older guys interpret the yellow line rule differently. When there is no yellow line, they all ride on the LEFT side of the road. They almost all got killed by a pickup pulling a horse trailer. The pickup truck driver was not happy and gunned it right at the group.

In the 4's Eric Gardiner took the win, looks like he has changed teams.. and his thigh highs have been revoked. Speaking of switching teams, Tyler Riedesel isn't such a kuhl guy anymore, now he rides with Canyon development. Hopeful Turbo can teach him how to crit...If the team doesn't over throw his reign as Manager. Eric Moore was "Moore" than disappointed about having his bike yanked out from under him prior to the state crit.. it did lead to his own Master Card commercial though..
Tatts McGee made the move from Cyclesmith to Porcupine/specialized.. and got his Cat2... hope you're ready.

Travis"t-pain"Horton(ffkr/sbo) was recently seen exiting the offices of Dr. Max Testicles. Apparently Horton has been experiencing a leg imbalance, this picture(above) from the downtown crit shows the drastic measures taken to correct the problem. Sorry ladies he's married.

No-Man's Land
The 1-2 ladies like it hard and fast, Bear lake did not disappoint. In the later part of the race a brake formed containing KK(pcim), Kris"cross" Walker(ice), Laura"to hot"Howat(ski utah), Nisie"peanut butter cup"Antacle(pcim) and Margaret"kirk"Douglas(ski utah). Walker refused to work, Nisie was about to read Walker the riot act but was quickly put in her place by captain KK..rrr! fight! Walker went up the road for a few kilometers but was brought back into the break by the Cat5 field who kindly drafted the other ladies up to her. On the line Walker got her way and the Victory..ouch ladies.
Sources tell me that the Cat4 ladies seemed to be taking cues from L'autobus. They're minding their P's and Q's and even pretending to pull through on the front.. Speaking of being on the front...several of the Ski Utah women got in a scratching, hair pulling fight at the post race raffle for a date with Gardie"gigolo"Jackson(cole sport). All is well as they agreed on an "group date" as long as each takes a turn at the front.
I guess there's drama in the ladies mountain bike scene but nobody cares, mountain biking is just something we do in the fall to pass the time... why do you think all the best mtb racers turned to road.. cause the dirt is boring.

Cat5 Tattoo

It seem obvious that Skullcandy/JSA architects has the strongest team in the 4's, those guys play team tactics and attack the race like crazy. 4's if you haven't figured it out yet.. let me hip you to it.. Skullcandy is your free ride to victory. Get in a break with one of those guys, They'll work their ass off and they're always just blown enough to not get the W.

Love me or hate me you know you want to read me..L'autobus is like reality TV or a car wreck.. you just cant' tear yourself away..Keep sending the dirt to .

see you at the Crits this weekend. If you're pissed cause you're going out of town and missing Sugarhouse, be double pissed cause now we got Jordanelle crit and that looks like a winner...oh yeah and your gonna slip down the UCA points ranking.. boo whoo.