Thursday, June 11, 2009

Interview: Naked Guy from The Gap & Hotties of the Peloton- late release!

Recently we caught up with the Naked Guy from The Gap. He was an animated character with a hairy but freshly shaven chest, stunning and repugnant all at once. This is what he had to say.

L’Autobus: When did you discover your affinity for the jock strap?
N.G.f.T.G.: Early on in high school I discovered that I have the ability to sport one of the best jocks in any demographic, and more importantly the motivation to wear the best athletic supporter in the world.

L’Autobus: What about your childhood? All kids have dreams growing up, you must have had aspirations as a boy.
N.G.f.T.G: Growing up, it was always my dream to rock the jock at a Division 1A University. This dream was almost realized when I made the trip to the University of Washington where due to injury I was unable to compete and was forced to find another outlet for my special talents.

L’Autobus: That must have been a blow to the ego, how did you go on?
N.G.f.T.G: After the great disappointment of having one of my dreams ripped from my grasp, I discovered cycling as a much more forgiving sport in which I could rock the jock without injury. After a year of rocking the jock in different disciplines I finally settled on road bike racing. Once I applied myself to this specific discipline, success was iminent. Over a period of 18 months, I progressed from rocking my jock at the RMR to rockin’ it at the Gap! a feat which few have the ability to accomplish.

L’Autobus: That’s amazing! What made you choose The Gap as the place to get buck naked and flap your junk?
N.G.f.T.G: After suffering a broken ankle, I decided to use the Gap as the base for my 2009 début. It was here that I found a community that believes in me and my jock strap and is filled with individuals that will do anything in their power to help me rock it.

Hotties of the Peloton - late release

Here are some more Hotties for your voting pleasure. Remember if you or your hot one has been left out, its not to late... send your pics to us or hit us up at Facebook.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Garden Creek Gripe a.k.a. Hamburger Hill

From the Team Car
It's amazing that the Groupetto that is utah cycling survived a double crit weekend only to be taken out by an innocent looking road race. The Gap isn't as kind as the name suggests, rather it was visited by its "special friend" and ran red with the blood of utah cyclist. All the usual signs were there, irritability, bloating, was that time of the year.
It started in the 1-2 field, on lap one Ali "skills" Goulet(ffkr-sbo) drew first blood, not with a vicious attack but with a crash. I though this guy was supposed to be a bike handler, instead he got handled. Sources say he took himself out "it was the strangest thing, he just rode off into the ditch". On the second time up the climb Sleevie(canyon development) tangled with Hageman(cole sport) and Harward(porcupine-specialized), resulting in Harward not making the front group and sidelining Hageman and himself.

Todd sustained a puncture that would require stitches and Sleeve-O will require some touch up work on his tatts. Harward was pissed, indicating he was feeling good "they weren't going that hard on the climbs".

Cat3 points leader Erik"red herring"Harrington canned himself, crashing on one of the stoney corners of the course. Eye witness accounts saw Harrington(cyclesmith) tumble into a field loosing his front wheel.
The ladies 1-2's were not without incident, on the final climb Laura Harward attacked Kris Walker's(ice) rear wheel resulting in close inspection of the road surface, ouch... Rachel Cieslewicz(monavie-cannondale) was caught in this mess and hit the deck as well, some how avoiding injury. Harward was not so lucky...
The irritability and disillusion set in as soon as the racing was over. Missy the official was getting it from all angles. You couldn't pay me enough to stand in the hot sun all day waiting for dorks in spandex to yell at you cause they're not listed in 15th place or cause they didn't know there were rules about gearing. Some people don't like the rules and some people don't know the rules but all people feel like they should be the exception...

Keegan Swenson(cole sport) managed an exception, narrowly avoiding being "Putt-ed" off the Cat5 podium for not using jr. gears. You'd think that every junior on the Cole Sport team would know about jr gearing by now, I guess as long as you're not trying to deceive the officials they'll cut you some slack.

Were you missing from the results at The Gripe? maybe it was because you didn't have a chip? or maybe it was cause you had a chip!

News flash the Losing Time chips are not the end all. Losing Time sent a tech to get the bugs out of the system but people are still getting DN F-ed.
One masters racer was quoted "timing chips are gay!". I don't think he meant gay like they find other timing chips attractive, more 80's style gay... like totally not cool.
Here's another news flash, make sure you're on the results before you leave the race... there is a protest period for a reason.

If you're wondering about your state TT result, Do-Overs are Wednesday at the International Center, first rider off at 5:45am.. don't forget your chip!
Coaches Corner
Apparently the Cat4 break was in need of organization, at least according to Chris Mackay(cole sport)... Coach Chris went into action directing guys when and how to pull through, all Cat4's should bring $20 to the next clinic.
The 4's had intermingled with the Masters, and as John Mckone(cole sport) was laying waste to Bountiful Mazda he dragged some 4's to the finish...despite knowing how to pace line Chris is primarily a dirt merchant... he didn't expect the other 4's to follow the fastest wheel to the line, subsequently he ended up 3rd on the line... this led to a funny situation as Mckone confronted the some 4's saying "see the difference?" point to himself then Mackay, "ride the right race.. make sure you're on the right train" was like an episode of Sesame St... One of these guys is not like the other, one of these guys is not the same...
Turbo(canyon development) turned 39 the other day, Happy Birthday! Barret blogged that he resolved to do something Awesome everyday from here on out.. Like the time he took Eric Moore's(no ride) bike from him.. that was Awesome!

No-Man's Land
Ladies Cat4's continue to have controversy, I hear grumblings that the I.C.E. ladies are using strange tactics to control the race. Supposedly the ladies of I.C.E. would dart their front wheels at anyone trying to pass, or run you into a pothole... this all sounds pretty crazy to me... first off you can't take someone out with your front wheel, only yourself, secondly running someone into a pothole? that's not a tactic, its a mistake and really a rider is responsible for their own line. Sure it's nice if riders point things out but its not a rule.. either way ladies be careful or you might get slapped with a lawsuit for lack of handling skill... it is illegal to lack skills right?

In more Cole Sport news, This picture was sent to me by a reader.

Not unlike a Big Foot sighting, Brad Gehrig was spotted dancing in nothing but a jock strap. I know public urination is a problem for the UCA.. I'm sure nudity is next on the list.

Cat5 Tattoo

Actual Cat5 tattoo on the winning Cat5 calf!