No wimps! No whiners!
High Uintas Classic a.k.a. Hypothermia Ass Kick, a true hard mans race... those that tried to H.T.F.U. found themselves folded up on the side of the road, quivering like babies, wishing they had stayed home. The early categories got off easy, minimal rain and strong tail winds to the finish, all the racers behind the 1-2 field got got a intimate look at the pain cave, no less than 200 people were pulled of Bald mountain pass suffering from hypothermia.. No wimps! No whiners and no results till almost ten at night!
Promoters and officials built the suspense like a Stephen king choose your own adventure novel where the author f*%k$ with you. Did you get the right time? did you get a KOM bonus, how much time will you have to make up in the TT and the Crit..oh by the way the crit doesn't count anymore.. hope you're a TT monster.
Speaking of TT monsters, Cat3 Josh/David Brockbank(canyon draper) smoked everyone and I mean everyone in the TT, beating 1-2 winner Sam Krieg(ice) by 20+ seconds..what a freak. When asked about the spanking, Krieg indicated he was slowed by the wet roads..
Even though the stage race was officially over after the TT, it was still anybodys guess as to the final GC. The officials must have been laughing to themselves as they held the GC results till the Crit was almost over.. is it to late to protest my road race result?
Fresh air, Freedom and Ass-less Chaps!
Residence of Evanston are a friendly and rare breed. New York has the Naked Cowboy, Evanston has the Ass-less Chaps Guy... this guy came up from his "dude" ranch to volunteer with the race, he also claimed to have a fan club which was comprised of little boys....I knew Evanston had porn and beer but who knew they had so much diversity.
Evanston locals know how to party and look forward to the Hi-U beer and pizza party, these guys were all about post race recovery, soaking their legs in the fountain while enjoying the annual sexy calves contest.Worst Calves contest
As you know L'autobus does things a little different so we now present the first annual Hi-U worst calves contest. We have already picked the contestants now you can win a L'autobus Tshirt by being the first to name these 3 sorry specimens.
send your answers to lautobus411@yahoo.com , include your shipping address and Tshirt size. **hint, all the calves are male and two of them are from the Cat2 field.**
12 comments:
High Uintas needs to change or go away. It's the same shit every year. How the fuck can you put on a stage race and rarely have the previous stage results done. Teams/Riders need to know. Gary year after year changes the rules midstream. And what the fuck is up with allowing riders to only sign up for the road race. If a one dayer is in the break (like the 1/2 winner), the other guys in the break can give him the stage win in exchange for killing himself to increase the time advantage. BULLSHIT. The road race is a beautiful stage but the rest of it steams and smells. They should put on a afternoon/twilight crit on Friday night and start the road race on Saturday from Evanston. Two separate events. More money for Evanston businesses. Better/bigger races for us and less bullshit. Stay hard!
One more thing: Ever notice the out of state riders are never the same guys that came the year before. No one out of state returns to race a second time. Would you travel far for this race?
Stay hard!
Wow.. i'm surprised those people can even walk with those tiny calves! Are you sure the middle one is a male?
p.s. Hard Harry.. lighten up! if it wasn't for this stage race, utah would only have barely one stage race on the calendar. Evanston does a great job as a community supporting this race. A whole helluva lot more support from the locals than Hurrican, Toole or St. George!
I am SO GLAD I didn't do this race again this year. VOTE with your $$$ and entry fees if you don't like the race. Lots of other stuff going on--Elkhorn with epic stages, big fields, timely race results. Or make the trip to Nevada City. You don't HAVE to race High Uintas officiated by Gary Bywater......
seems as though hard harry knows something about the 1-2 road race that i don't..i'm pretty sure the RR winner wasn't killing himself to increase the time gap.. sounds like hard harry is a bit soft, he probably doesn't even race 1-2's or he does and would have won but ended up 20minutes down cause some one day-er worked in the break..:(
lone-li-road has a point, those calves in the middle do look like ladies gams.. but really, this may not be the perfect stage race, hell it may not well organized either but it at least it exists. I know as much as the racers may complain, they would be more than bummed if it ceased to be.
I've said it before the officials/promoters have a thankless job, if it wasn't for them we would have no races at all. Every weekend they give up their time so racers can get their fix, then they get shit on and go home.. for all of Soft Harrys bitching it sounds like he races Hi-U year after year.
I'm not saying it did happen in the 1/2's, it was just an example. But it opens up the possibility of an unfair situation. I was a Popsicle when the 1/2 race finished. But if I made the break and knew the guys I'm with aren't racing the rest of the stages, I would strike a deal to give her the stage and keep working all the way to the finish. The cat and mouse bullshit loses a lot of time. One, its not fair and two it's probably not legal. But that is just a drop in the bucket of piss which is this race.
I don't buy this be happy there's a race bullshit. If High Uintas wasn't going on, there would be a lot more racers at Tour de Nez and Elkhorn and/or another Utah race would fill the space. If it weren't for the citizen racers, this race would be on life support. Only 121 people finished the whole race last year in good weather (yes, I counted and no, I don't have a life). That makes it one of the smallest races on the calendar. Again, the road race is great, the rest sucks balls. Stay Hard!
It's the best crit course of the year, when they actually run the entire race. It's the best pay out of any of our local races. I'll be back.
hell ya! $200 for three laps, thats pratically the highest paying job in the americas, you 1-2's have it easy
i think h squared is onto something with the friday evening thing. though i would say fri TT, sat RR and sunday crit. hell, make it an omnium, that would really make it interesting! and great tribute to the evanstonians- they do rule!
I don't know about all the race discussion, but I'd have to say the first set of calves are the girly ones.
Remind me NEVER to organize a race. Lol. I like to ride my bike.... But yeah... Calves.... Sam Krieg has some pretty sad calves... and so does Camzilla, but they sure are fast... I think this gam competition is gonna have me calve-gocking for the rest of my life... So if you catch me staring, thats why.
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